Tired of all the crap!!!!

I dunno... It's as if wadeva mom's putting me thru isn't bad enuf to weigh me down. As if everythin else is not gonna be good enuf until it puts me down. I'm really tired of all the crap I hafto go thru..... I wished it would all fuckin end. I'm human too... I need time out once in awhile too...
Mom's been putting me to hell these days... She never took a rest to make me feel bad bout myself. Every single day, it's the same thing over and over again. Am I a daughter? Or just someone u can bash and kick around when u're unhappy.. Or even better when u feel like doin so? Why me bein human is so hard to accept?! When haf me when u dun prepare to take full resposiblities to make sure I was safe and happy?? Why put me thru such miserable life? Why regret when I finally on the verge of killing myself? Sorry is not good enuf... It'll never change the fact dat u've put me thru such bad ass times....


At times it felt dat I only existed to fulfill someone else's needs... All my needs were saw past. It's like I never ever needed anythin... But dat's not the truth!!! I needed my parents to give me full support and everythin I do. But dat din come true. I needed my parents to protect me from all the danger... But I was mostly fed to the lions. I'm really tired of all the crap...


I really need to get myself out of here before I drive myself nuts. The simplicity was often taken for granted. When I finally shouted for help, everythin was too late d. Is it gonna get better? Wad do they really expect of me? To be a goody goody two shoes it's just not me... And I'm tired havin to pretend so they could be happy. Why cant they just be happy wif wad I am now? Am I such a bad daughter? I often wondered dat myself. Wad haf I done to deserve such torture? Do I really deserve to be in such a family? Is a lil love too much to ask for? If my bf's parents could treat me better.. And count me in as part of their family... Shudn't I be callin them my own family? A lil love could go a long way.... Is dat so hard to understand?


The easiest thing to own is the hardest to haf