Wad if....

Sometimes I really wonder wad if?
There's so many wad if-s....
Wad if I had ur baby..
Are u ready to take the responsibilities?
Are u ready to commit to dis kinda environment?
Are u ready to be the perfect dad?
I know u'd be a great dad..
But when it comes to bein ready...
I kinda doubt dat. * Dun hate me *
Thou I ❤ u to bits...
But sometimes it's just reality dat no one is perfect.


But there's also alot of other wad if-s...
Today,
Steven C. proposed and told me to wait for him for 3 years.
He'll give me all dat I ever dreamed of.
“你就是我要娶的人。我一定会完成你的梦”
Honestly..
I was really touched when he said dat.
Cuz I knew dat he meant every words.
Thou I never agreed or said anythin...
Still I can't help wondering....
Wad if Steven and I were an item again?
Will we work out better than before?
Cuz we've grown up and more mature now?
How would it feels to be back in his arms again?
I could feel my heart changin a lil when I met him back.
Dat's why I wanted u to come back soon...

I know I can be annoyin at times..
I cant help it.
I want no one else but u...
But if u're always away like dat...
I no longer can deal wif all dat.
Always when I'm facing problems,
U're not here wif me..
The one who's comfortin me isn't u.
Dat hurts a whole lot deal.
Cuz u're the one who's suppose to be comfortin me...
Not someone else.
I need u here wif me..
But u're always somewhere else.
Sometimes it's hard to tell u when u're not ready to listen.
I need u to listen closely to my heart's beats.

I hate it!!!!

I really dunno how much longer we hafto do dis...
We've been together for a year...
It's only the beginning of the year,
And we've spent so much time apart.
Are u gettin used to it?
I really wonder...
Again......
I'm tryin to get thru another day without u.
It's not as easy as it seems to be.

I hate u for doin dis so often!
I hate u for takin me for granted!
I hate u for bein there for them more than me...
I hate it when u're away...
I hate dat u're not holdin to the promises u've made me months ago.

Are they promises u meant to break?
Promises u never sincerely mean it?
How important am I to u?
Just another story in ur life?
Another chapter?
Or is it the endin chapter?
The last chapter in the book?
I'm really curious at times..

I love u just isn't enuf for me.
They're not the only things u justify ur feelings...
U always leave me at the cross roads.
U're never there to walk wif me..
I envy those who has their other half who's always wif them.
I'm not one of those blessed ones...

Are u really givin ur best in dis relationship?
I really doubt dat at times..
Are u givin ur 100% or just a part of it?
Thou I love u to bits...
I dun wanna marry u if u're not ready to make a full commitment.
I need ur 100%...
Not just a part of it.
I dun wanna be married to a guy who's always not around.
Someone who's never here for me when I needed him the most.
I need u to be here,
More than u ever realized.
I'm not as strong like u think I am.
Words unspoken...
I need u to read me more than I could tell..
I ade came to a point..
Dat I'm no longer able to deal wif all dis..
It hurts..
More than u'll ever know..
Beyond words I can find to explain.
At times I really wonder..
Are we together cuz we love each other?
Or is it merely cuz it's an old habit?
Can u give me a sincere answer?
Without even giving it second thoughts?

Mixed Feelings

I really haven't seen u in awhile...
And after so long,
It feels like we're tryin to rekindle the love dat we gave up in 02'.
To hear u say "你就是我要娶的人"..
Dat was somehow bitter sweet for me.
Cuz I feel dat u're bring the matter up for a reason.
U wasn't satisfied wif the way things turn out.
Over the years...
Yea I do tink bout u every now and then..
I haven't even met u between those years..
And all of a sudden u popped out of no where.
Still the same old brand new u...

我不是不想你。。
我是没办法忘记，
当初你离开我的那一时刻。。
我等了很久也没有你的消息。
你回来了，
也没找我。
如果。。
我们会在一起。。
你还是离开。。
没消息的，
我该怎么办呢？
你口口声声的说，
我是你的亲爱的。
但我还是觉得，
给比此一点点时间。
你我都变了。。
还有的挽回吗？


我是快要嫁人了。。。
但那个人不是你。
虽然他不是我的白马王子。。
但他是不会让我流泪的人。
那很足够了。
我心变了，
人也变了。
不再是你八年前认识的人了。。

虽然我很想再晚回。。
但真的不想伤害现在我拥有的人。
它却给到我一个安全感。
那是你给不到我的。
不一定要在一起的，对不对？
我想太多了。。。
看见你真的让我怀念我们当初的日子。
我的心怎么了？

I dun wanna keep makin assumptions dat will never happen..
Just gonna take the next step when the stepping stone reappears..
At the moment,
I'm really happy wif dat someone rite now.
And I'm contented wif dat.
I'm not prepared to go thru all dis again...

Kl trip jinx again....

So sien wan...
Everytime plan wanna go Kl..
Always cant make it in the end.
Dis tie it's because of insufficient funds.
Sheesh...
Dis has been jinx for 10 years long d...
All I can hear is only stories bout Kl..
And the only place I've been there is only
Klia to transit planes..
And Klang for dry bah kut teh...
How pathetic!!
Honestly,
I dunno anyone who hasn't been to Kl..
Hoe Hoe always says dat he's been waitin for me to get there..
Dis is the 5th year...
And I haven't even arrive there!!!
It's totally outrages!!!

When Kit came to fetch me to Kl...
We eventually fought when I'm packin my bag.
The when Zhao Zhen drove half way there..
We fought!
I really wanna go...
But every single time oso failed to do so..
Stupid jinx!!!!

Ice Ice Baby

I've spent a great Sat Nite wif u guys without clubbin...
Honestly,
I'm so proud to call u guys my frens.
It's been quite awhile I hung out wif decent frens...
And at the moment..
U guys are the decent frens I haf..
People I can call "frens"


















We honestly shud do dis more often...


Babes,
Guys...
Well....
I'm gonna miss u guys when everyone leaves Penang....





Mua punya hubby...
❤ u heaps~
















The ♥ly couple..
I really hope the best for both of u.
Both of u really look good together~
**Phewwwweet**











Edwin & Chiew Tsing~

Tsing & Mua---->


















First time bloggin wif so many pixs...
I hope I did okay la...

-XoXo-



Introducin the gang...

Ed~
The super duper bf..
No looker,
But got a huge heart.. ^^


<--- ❤ --->


Gwen~
The babe in the gang.
Adorable,
Camwhore.. =p











Chiew Tsing~
The adorable cutie pie...
Totally sweet guy,
Any gal who dates him,
Will be the happiest gal...




Inaz~
Psycho bitch.. *In a great way*
She brings the happy vibe wif her..
When u're down,
Havin her will definately cheer u up!





Last but not least..
Mua...
The first thing dat I need to feel relax..
Starbucks Caramel Frapp...
I'm a big fan and a big addict of it too...

Bitter Sweet Day

Hmmm~ first of all I din expect dat Ultraman would come meet me today. And wad suprised me the most is he remembered my antidote *Starbucks* Thou he got me the wrong one... But it's the heart dat matters the most. He suprised me when he agreed to go Balik Pulau wif me... Cuz most of the time he'd make excuses not to go. *Suprise suprise* He's still with the crazy driving skills tho he's drivin the Estima today instead of his usual ride. And I could tell dat he still wants me back... Thou he knows dat's impossible d. But he's still tryin his luck after 5 years.. *Countin dis year* And honestly dat's a long time he waited for the answer he wanted... Thou he often came up wif theories to win me back. He still got a lot to prove....

Dis is the sweet part...
Now comes the bitter part...

When I got to work... My manager told me "Dis may be ur last day to work." I've always known dat they'll cut some man power soon.. But I din expect it wiithout any notice at all. It's utterly not fair!!! If I did somethin wrong... I would accept it without a fight. But I din do anythin wrong!!! It's totally screwed up.... I know I do my best at work and I was totally under appreciated. Yet I din fret!! Was a freakin notice too much to ask for anyways?! I dun mind bein snuffled out... Cuz I understand the whole thing bout cutting costs... But when it comes without any notice, I tink it's freakin outrages!!!! Is dis how they handle things? Cuz I totally reckon dat it's irresponsible!! Is dis how grown up in their mid ages handle such situations?! AAArrrrrgghghhhhh!!!!
Now they tell me dat the decision will be finalised tomoro in a meeting tomoro... And in my point of view... Letting me go has already been finalised.. Just figuring out a way to let me go without me having a say...Honestly, I've done my job. I just couldnt freakin bother if they wanna do anythin else....

Rather than bein sad, I'm feeling freakin pissed to the max!!!

First Anniversary

We've been together for a year d....
Time passes so quickly...
And in dis one year,
I guess it's safe to say
We've been thru a lot..
From pursuers to fights...

We had 2 superb "honeymoons"..
And to be really honest..
He's the only one who really cared to bring me on holiday breaks.
And to hear my gf aka bestie say
"I've never seen a guy who hugs u like he does"..
Dat meant alot to me.
Cuz she knows me so well...
Dat she's able to tell when I'm calling it quits.

Yes...
He's not the guy in my dreams...
He's still got alot to learn.
If I hafto do it all over again,
I would still pick him over Issac any time of the day.
I've never regretted doin dat...
And I know dat I've made the right choice by doin so.
Issac seems to be alot of other gal's "dream guy"...
But definately not mine.
He was never a looker to me...
But in other gal's point of view he's gorgeous.
Hmmm~
I second to dat.
I'd rather choose a guy who's poor and love me...
Rather than a guy who's loaded but cant love me for who I am.
Even more when he has problems in respecting me.
I was even more sick of the threats the other gals gave me...
And he couldnt even bother to end it all for me...
Yea, I've made the right choice.
I like to remind myself of dat every now and then.

Honestly...
Being frens for 10 years then start dating,
Is totally a different story for me.
Dating someone u know for so long,
Can either be disastrous or it'll end up great...
Cuz we know all bout our pasts,
He knows all the things I've been thru...
And he knows wad ticks me off and wad I love...
*And he still loves tickin me off just for fun*
And I dare say dat lots of our frens were caught off guard when they saw us together...
Even I din expect it to end dis way...
But I'm very grateful and I'm proud
To call my other half my soul mate and best fren.