Today..

Today...
Today u forgotten bout me.
Today was a lil heart breakin.
Today I'm tired, but u're not around.
Today I needed ur hug,
But u're no where to be found.
Today I searched for u but I couldn't find u.
Today u broke my heart all over again.
Today...
Today..
Does today matters when it's a brand new day?
Would it still matter when the clock strikes 12?
Would it be a brand new day?
Or it would just be like today?
I had the urge to jump off a building.
But I held back knowin dat we're still together.
Today I had the urge to give everythin up,
And just fly,,,
But it's a burden dat I needed to bear.


Dis time I shall not ask when u'd be back.
Why dun u tell me when and keep ur words?
Shud I just learn how to let u be?
Shud I just stop listenin?
I shud stop worryin..
I shud stop askin how u've been.
Why dun u ask me dat in return for once..


Today I shall forget when I wake up..
Cuz today isn't important anymore.
Today u forgotten bout me..
I shall forget bout u too....

Another day wif someone who ❤s me for me..

I honestly consider myself as pretty blessed. I spent another day wif my ex, good fren and also my part time bf. *Lolz* Someone who knew me well. Knows wad I like and wad ticks me off. I told him bout "him". He agrees dat I shud just look Jacob up. He wants to crop Hubby off our pixs.. And wont let him. "U deserved better". Dat comin out of my ex's mouth meant somethin to me alot. Thou we're no longer together... But we stayed frens. At times he's my shoulder to cry on cuz he knows me so well. Both of us just enjoy the same thing. Cuddles and hang out together time. We love the affection dat our bf/gf could give.. I'm glad to haf him still.....


All the ❤ and hugz heaven could ever hold~

Young ❤

Sometimes u really gave me the feeling of " Young ❤"" ..
A love dat will never grow old...
Always playful and naive.
Always makin mistakes and learnin from them.
A love dat's not afraid to follow their own instincts.Not afraid to follow wad their heart says...
A love u need to prove at every wake of dawn,A love dat u love to spend the day staring at.
Cuddling and never gets bored of it.
A love dat I wished I could haf till the day I die.
U reminded me of the times I used to haf.
U're takin me down to the memories I've had.




Jin~
He was someone I really fancied before back in 02'.
I remember he kept sayin "Who do u tink u are"
When he saw me and Oon仔 together.
How small is dis world?
I really tot he could recognize me.
But his eye contacts told me everythin I shud know by now. He couldn't recognize me anymore.. I looked familiar from somewhere.. *Sobz* But till now he still looks just as adorable as before. And dat deep voice still hasn't change~ ^^




Feng~ 9 years my junior.. Pursued me restlessly for 1 and a half years. When he finally gave up, I felt somethin's missin from my life. He's sweet and adorable.. But just not my type of coffee..
But he's definitely someone who can make some girls life happy.
And dat gal just isn't me.

Jacob~
Another of my flings. Someone I really wanted to be together wif.. But just wont work out. If it wasn't because of my ego, we've probably worked things out. I miss him like heck... Yet I still cant find the guts to tell him dat. I kept waitin for his news.. Hopin to see him somewhere, tho I know very well he's in Wichita. He's really everythin dat I wanted.. But I do know too, I'm just not Adeline. And I cant be someone I'm not. Even dat, he gave me sweet memories.. And I still miss him~



For all the things I've been thru... I still onto the memories dat I've had. Cuz they're way precious than it looks. Memories no one could take away from me. But I still miss u Jacob Lim...

有希望，是幸福的

我命知道我们是没可能的。。。
但我也还是爱弄你。
请别问我为什么。
被爱从实是幸福的。
但我发现到你已经变了，
你爱的人不是我了。。
觉得自己已经失去些某某的东西。
我很清楚为什么我们都是没可能的。
因为你小国我九岁。
因为你不是我想嫁给的人。。
因为你给不到我想要的安全感。
这一切都是事实。
突然间看着你爱着别人，
真的有点不自在的感觉。
因为你的眼里只有她。
感觉到自己很自私。
Everything just worked out for the best...


有希望是幸福的。

I'm confused..

I dunno why...
It's beginning to get so weird...
I'm beginning to watch myself everytime he's around me..
And if Hubby's there too...
I get even more cautious...
I'm really curious why the sudden cautious moment?

I know deep down inside he cares alot for me,
Tho he always denies it.
Are their words getting to me?
Or I'm just merely looking after his feelings?
I'M SO CONFUSED RITE NOW!!!!!

Shud I just pretend?
Or rather confront him like wad I did dat day..
Would I hurt his ego?
I really dun know...

Ur my own brand of heroine, My own kryptonite

Thou sometimes I love u to bits...
But u kept pushing ur luck.
I always gave in for all ur antics...
I cant blame them for pointin out who's better for me.
I know cuz they want the best for me..
Can u keep the promise u gave me a year back?
To be the best u can be?
To be there for me?
I'm tired of tryin to work all of dis mess out.
Cuz at times I really doubt dat u care..
Doubt u're the least scared of losing me..

I told someone before,
We might be the best at the moment...
Which dun mean no one else can be better us..
But at times,
I tend to re-evaluate my decision.
Am I mad at u cuz u never made up to ur promise?
Or I just feel dat u can be better,
But u chose not to be?
Am I angry at u for all the right reasons?
U really confuse me sometimes...
And I hate dat kinda feeling!

原来。。。

原来什么人都是不能一百%去喜爱能够相信的。。。
我的好朋友和我道歉，
她在曼着一些东西。。
是什么，我也不懂。
真的很想哭。。
是不是每一个人都是在骗我的？
真的没有人信得过吗？
连我自己的好朋友也是这样吗？
真的很伤心。。。

Partay~

Well~ Tonite I had lotsa fun...
From dancin...
Flirtin to teasing... *Tee Hee*

And the main agenda is makin up to my promise.
I purposely din let him know dat I'm comin..
Cuz I wanted to surprise him.
And I miss hearin him spin.
Sayang~ u owe a song...
No actually u still owe me a decent date,
And a movie together...
I still can whiff the Sean John on u.
Miss dat scent.. =p

I really hope dat u'd still keep ur promises..
Keep ur word dat u still want me.
I missed u heaps... ^^
I miss those comfortin hugs..
Those teasin kisses...
Hahaha... Yea~
I really miss all dat...
And I really do keep my fingers crossed dat u feel the same too...

My addictions..

From food to people... I haf some addictions dat I won't give up...

Starbucks Caramel Frapp...
My favourite yum yum. My antidote. The thing dat I needed the most when I'm emo...
When I dun haf enuf sleep..
Or when I'm havin a bad day...
Most of all when I just feel like havin it...

And for dat, most of my pay goes to Starbucks rather than anythin else...







Chocolates.. Especially Cadbury ones... *caramello*
I totally agree and believe dat chocolates make u happier and it boosts endorphins..
If I cant get Caramel frapp, cadbury chocolates are my second option....


And other than dat...
Here comes the people I'm addicted to.. =p
People dat play different roles in my life. All of them has somethin in common...
1. I love them to bits..
2. We were once together before...


.First one of all... My hubby. Well, thou over the years he has already changed. He no longer has the same old dressin code. And I always say he dress like an old uncle now... And he promised me dat he'll go back to how he was back 11 years ago. ^^ *fingers crossed* Thou he's not perfect in alot of ways... But in alot of ways he completed me. Thou now I still haf doubts bout him bein The One.. But I guess time will tell sooner or later... Dat I'll wait..





Lion~ Well he's the superstar dat I became fond of after awhile. He played quite a role in my life for the past couple of months. He loves to tease me just to get on my nerves. He's really a peculiar guy. He never really tell u wad's on his mind. He likes to make ppl guess all the time. Most of the time, when we're together... He just listens to me and not him telling me things. Well thou we're not together anymore... But I still love it when he calls me "darling"..




Him~ Ultraman... Another of the special people dat appeared in my life. From how I met him to how I dated him was special... Magical moments we've encountered together... From shooting stars to "Let's jump off from the 17th floor. Like dat we'll be together forever". It's crazy.. But I'm sure no other guy will be able to tell me dat same thing. Even thou we've broken up for 5 years.. But he still wants me back in his life. Tho it's pretty much impossible... But still it meant somethin to me. At one point of my life, I really thought he'd be the one I marry.. But I guess shyt happens. Even so.. I still held on the promises he's made me after so many years.. If it comes true, I'd be more than happy... But if it doesn't, I wont be dead either... I cant believe dat he bought my favorite car... Well I guess we just haf so many things in common.. ^^



Another ex... Well I guess it's safe to say dat he's the one who got away. And when we finally met each other back dis year.. He told me "U are the girl I wanna marry". I tot he was just jokin.. SO I played along. But a week after dat he proposed. "Gimme 2 to 3 years to earn money. After dat I'll fulfill all u ever wanted". *Wow* I never tot dat he meant everythin he told me the week before. Thou I never said yes.. But neither did I disagree.. I guess it's safer to let time tell. *Anythin could haf happen during the 3 years time. We'll let time tell*





To all the people dat I've mention here...
I love u to bits. More than u know.
U're changed my life in someway or another without u realizing it.
Dat for dat I'm always grateful...
The only thing dat has changed,
Is we're not together anymore...
Other than dat I still love u all the same....
^^


~ xx ~

First day without u next to me...

It's the first day without u next to me...
In such a long time...
We've spent the past 18 days together...
Every single moment together.
And now I hafto go thru without u bein by my side again.
And every single time dat happen..
It gets harder..
At the same time,
I love u and hate u for it.
U've made me independent for bein away all the time...
That's the good outcome...
But the bad outcome of it..
I'm gettin too used to it of u not bein at my side.
I dun think dat's a good one.
I tot we're not suppose to survive when we dun haf each other?
Today when I was out wif Jinsen...
I figured out somethin has changed.
But I just couldn't pin point wad it is.
Is it the way he hugged me goodbye?
Is it the way he asked me how are we turnin out?
I really cant put a finger on it...
It kept me wonderin...
How much longer do we hafto be apart so often?
Are we gettin better at bein away from each other?
Are we too comfortable wif dat?

I wanna marry someone whom I cant live without...
Not someone I can live without..
I wanna marry someone who feels the same way towards me..
Are we too comfortable in our relationship?
Dat the excitement has passed?
Dat ur heart or mine no longer thump dat hard when we see each other?
To make someone feel dat they're pursued every single wake of the sunrise,
Isn't easy as said.
It's somethin to accomplish..
I want dat kinda love..
I want a never aging love.
But it feels like we're an old married couple nowadays..
We no longer do anythin spontaneously anymore..
And it's kinda boring, dun u agree?
I feel it's time to rekindle the moments we've spent together.
Do we really say I love u from the bottoms of our hearts?
It's not bout the pda we show..
None of dat matters..
Only one thing matters...
Do u love me?

It's just a simple question..
But it's hard to find the right answer to it.
Do u love me enuf to spend the rest of ur life wif me?
Enuf to die for me?
Enuf to make me feel better everytime I see u?
I haf doubts...
And I'm sure u haf ur own too..
Do u love me enuf wantin to see me next to u every single morning?
I'm curious to know the real answer...
Will u tell me the truth?
I keep tellin people..
Time will prove and tell everythin.
I do wanna get married.
But at the moment I'm not sure if u're the guy I wanna spend the rest of my life wif.
Dat u hafto convince me..
Prove it to me..
Like I said,
U haf till June.
I really hope dat u'll keep the promise u make me.
I want us to work out..
After all we've waited for 11 years to be together.
Dat itself meant somethin to me.
Do not disappoint me..
Cuz I dun think both of us can face dat kinda consequences..
I love u to bits...
But only love isn't enuf..