History Repeated

People change..
From time to time.
Dat's a fact no one is able to change in their lifetime.
Yea, I guessed dat I've expected it to happen..
Bad timing?
I guess so...

I just needed to talk..
But it seems dat it's kinda impossible rite now.
I dun wanna spoil the honeymoon mood.
I'm tryin really hard.
Oh well...
Shyt happens all the time doesn't it?
But why do I feel so betrayed?
I feel like cryin..
I felt like I lost my bestie.
Every step of the way,
Makes me weaker..
I'm losing a piece of myself every step I take.



Who to turn to?
Family?
Bf?
Friends?
Who the hell am I kidding?
Just as much as it sucks to say..
By the end of the day,
I'm just a loner.
At home,
At work,
Outside.
Makes no difference.
Of cuz everyone needs someone.
Dat I haf no doubts.
But the right to the point is,
Who chooses to be there wif u?

Moments dat can kill a soul?
I may be crappin now..
But dat's the way it feels to me.
Mebbe my life is too complicated.
Mebbe my feelings are too jumbled up.
Wadever reason it may be..
Dis is just me.
I cant be anyone else.
I dun even wanna try.



I'm messed up right now.
I wished I could clean up..
I need a whole lot deal of time to.
I wished I could say I can manage,
I doubt it I could.
I wanna get away..
Clear my mind and heart.
Sounds easy,
But way too hard to achieve.
I need a one way ticket outta here.
At least for the time being.

I feel like cryin

I'm afraid to admit dat it's all a dream.
All a sweet dream dat will never come true.
U comin to my workin place to find me.
Hugging me tight wif ur eyes closed,
Whispering "I missed u"
It's all a dream.
A dream I dun wanna let go..
I cried till I fell asleep.
How could a moment be so real?
How could a brief fling be afflicting so much pain?
I could find the words to explain.
It dawned on me.
U're the one who got away.
The one I should haf held on tightly.
Jacob....
It hurts not being able to apologize for the things I did.
I know u're coming back soon.
But how soon?
Will u ever find me again?
Will u give me a chance to explain?
Baby..
One chance is all I'm askin for.
Only one..

I never knew it would hurt dis bad.
Never expect it to stay even after 2 years.
Could we go back to the moment when we're in Jamal?
And start everythin over again?
Is there any possibilities to do so?
I miss ur warm cozy hugs.
The way u look me in the eye.
"U fetch him back.."
Those words echoed in my head.
Would it be different if I did fetch u back dat nite?
Kap~ 
For all the things u did for me,
I know it's out of ur sincere heart.
I look back at the pictures..
And I know wad was in ur head.
U never gave me the chance to say goodbye.
Why?




Mebbe up till now,
I'm the only one who's still holding on,
While u're already moved on.
Mebbe I'm the only one who's still hoping for the hopeless to happen..
I wouldn't know till I see u again.
Kap~
One last hug goodbye,
It'll all end there.
I promise not to hurt u..
I'm not capable of doin dat anymore..
I just wanna say dat I'm sorry..

Jacob Lim, I still miss u

I cant help it...
It's been 2 years..
And I still cant keep u out of my mind.
My heart..
And everytime I thought back bout wad could haf been..
It hurts.
I feel like cryin,
Cuz I know dat I hurt u badly.
I know now.
I've never stop apologizing.
And at times I wished u could just reply me already.
I miss u..
I really really do miss u.
If I wasn't bein childish,
Bein nasty..
We're would haf been together now.
I regretted..
I would do anythin to make things okay again.
If I had u,
There'll be no one else I want.
Yea~ I deserved to be ignored.
After how I treated u.
But baby,
At least give me a fair chance to explain.
I din wanna hurt u..
I was more like afraid of hurting myself.
I dun like long distance relationships.
I dunno how long u'll be in Wichita.
Is there any way we could work things out?


The only way I could feel close to u now..
Is by dreaming.
It makes me wonder if I ever crossed ur mind.
Let me meet u one last time to apologize.
To hug u goodbye..
Dat's all I'm askin for.
Is dat too much?
I miss u..
My heart hurts...