Things are getting clearer now... I guess

Yea... I guess so.
I'm tired of doin dis.
Cuz I dun tink I can do it any longer.
Cuz u're not willing to accept the fact.
I wished I could say dat I'm sad.
Sad cuz u've made such a plunging decision.
But I'm not.
I felt relieved...
Cuz it felt like u're finally accepting the truth.
The truth of things are not gonna get back to where it used to be.
I've given u the best,
But u took me for granted time and time again.
I've no regrets of letting go.
Cuz u're no good for me.
U never treated me right after we dated for 6 months..
And I stayed...
I still chose u.
But now it's been one and a half year..
U left me hanging by a thread.
Treated me like dirt,
Time and time again..
I kept my cool for long enuf.






No gal would ever want a bf who treat them like dirt.
I did all those things cuz I loved u.
But to u,
It's a must.
It's a role dat I shud play...
There's no use regretting all of dat now.
Cuz right from the start,
U only wanted me cuz I treat u well.
I really dun wan things to get ugly.
It's time to let me go...
Like u said before..
"If u found someone better, I'll let u go."
Keep the words u made me.
Before u take my life.








There's no point regretting if u dun change.
No one can change u if u're not willing to.
U can stay dat way forever if u choose to.
But u know I say it cuz I want the best for u.
It's time to grow up.
Face facts...
Not every gals can keep quiet wif dat attitude of ur's .
I no longer can love u..
Not dat way anymore.
U've made things so hard for me in these past few months.
I've been carrying dat burden for way too long.
Tho I love ur mom and bro to bits.
I'm sorry dat dis is gonna be a disappointment to them.
There's nothin else I could do de.
I've tried my best to let things pass..
But I really cant anymore.
I dun deserve ur tantrums.
Ur rants..
I've put up wif it way too long.
It's getting pretty much of a habit dat I let u haf ur way.
Dat's not gonna happen anymore.
I dun wanna argue bout it,
Cuz ur ego gets in the way.
U never took care of my heart.
Thinkin dat I'll forgive u and forget bout it everytime.
U've used up all ur chances.
U've crushed my dreams under ur foot.
I find it all hard to believe dat there's a man who can love me wif all his heart now.
A man who can treat me like a princess..
A man who'd always be there to protect me.
U've crushed my dreams of believing in marriage.
Those are all sweet talk...
I'll never put hope of gettin married till it really happens..
Not anymore.

Rollercoaster happiness

I cant believe dat I could live better without u.
I used to doubt dat I could live without u..
A year ago.
But now,
Things are different.
I'm happy without u..
Dat's gonna sting.
I felt the baggage dat I've been carryin for so long has been taken off...
I felt relieved.
I felt better...
It's better without u.
Cuz I no longer hafto deal wif ur selfish attitude.
I used to love u alot..
Used to give in everythin u asked for.
But dat's not gonna happen anymore.
Cuz u took me for granted all the time.
I cant believe dat I took so long to realize dat u were using me..
Dat aint love.
U just wanted to be wif me cuz I'm everythin u needed.
U used to love me cuz u're afraid of losing me..
But it's no longer dis way anymore.
Things are never gonna go back to where it was before,
U and I know dat very well.
U left me too many bruises to count.
Uncountable heart breaks..
I cant love u anymore.
Not the way u want me to.
I've warned u...
But u neva listen..
So dis is the outcome of the things u do.
Bear wif the consequences...

-Goodbye to you-

Ultraman~

Thou u're all I ever wanted..
Thou u're "the one" to me last time,
Sometimes I find it so hard to deal wif the fact dat we're a dysfunctional couple.
We cant be like normal couples,
Go out,
Watch movies..
Simple things seem so hard.
Oh well~
I guess there's nothin much we can do bout it huh?
U refused to change things...
U and I know dat.
Accept or decline.
Simple as dat.
At the moment,
I choose accept.
Cuz u're too hard for me to let go..
After 5 years,
It's sucky not to continue.
All I could do is keep my fingers crossed..
Dat u'll treat me rite.
At least treat me fairly...
Stop doubtin me.
It's ur choice not to be wif me everyday.
Dat dis time,
U'll try ur best to makes things work for us.
*I'm tired of hiding things in the dark*

-Half of my heart-

Teddy~

U've been amazing.
U've always been there for me.
U're sweet,
Tho u wont admit it.
U're the type dat will protect me from far.
And for dat,
I adore u to bits.
Ur hugs are irreplaceable..
And dun u dare ignore me..
*Lalalalala~*
I hope u'd enjoy ur new job.
Like I said before,
All I wanted is for u to be happy.
I'm so sorrie dat I'm not there when u needed me.
I know u called me first before u called anyone else.
I'm honored and blessed.
U'll always be my teddy bear.
Love u for the things u've done for me..
U're a sweetie.

-U make me wanna-

Janeale~

Babe...
I truly love u to bits.
U keep my feet on the ground.
Keeping me sane.
Tolerating all my rants and complaints.
Yet,
U never once forsake me.
U never once dumped me and left me lost.
I thank God dat I haf someone like u..
To be called my bestie,
My girlfren.
I'm proud of u..
U've improved over the months.
And u do deserved to be loved.
U deserved to be wif someone who loves u wif all his heart.
U're way attractive than he gives u credits for.
U shud realize dat by now.
We've from different worlds...
And somehow we fit together.
Quite peculiar at times.
Right from the start,
I've wanted u to be my maid of honor.
There's no one else who can fit dat better than u..
Babe~
Wadever ur decision is,
Know dat I respect it.
I just want u to be happy...
I want the best for u.
Love u alot..

-Thank you for loving me-

Suffocated

As time goes by,
I cant help it but to admit.. 
Most guys are the same.
JERKS!!!
Aren't u even tired of all the lies dat u build?
Why lies?
And not truths?
I'm honestly disappointed...
Why?
Even after 5 years...
It's the same old thing again.
U kept doubtin me tho I made no mistakes.
Made me feel as if I shud be treated dat way.
The more I looked at it,
The more I agree wif lesbians.
I'm sorry.
But most guys are insensitive.
Most of them thinks dat we girls shud orbit around their world.
As if we owed them our life.
I'm really sick of dis...
U know wad?
U can go around day dreamin dat why world evolves around u...
But dat's not the truth.
U know it better than I do..


Screw u..
I agree gays hold a much longer relationship than norms do..
I cant help it..
U dashed my dreams..
Crushed beneath ur ego..
Be dat all u want..
Cuz I'd be better on my own.

Driftin apart

The title says it all..
Dun it?
Dun u feel dat we're driftin apart?
Cuz I cant be who u want me to be.
I love bein myself.
But time and time again u keep pushin the boundaries.
Keep wantin me to be someone I'm not.
Someone I dun wanna be.
Please understand dat I'm just me...
Not wif split personality.
By the end of the day,
I just wanna be myself.
The crazy emo me...
The smoker and beer drinker.
I'm fine bein myself.
Tho I know dat some change would be better.
I dun like the image u're paintin of me.
Cuz dat's so fake.
It's not me deep inside.
I find hard to smile when u're pretend dat I'm the miss perfect.
I would be really grateful if u let me be myself.
Dat I dun hafto pretend.
Cuz dat's just not me!!
Dun change who I am.


U wouldn't like it too if I tried to change u.
Like u said U wont change.
And I din even try...
Why cant u understand dat?
I'm really tired of the same old lame conversation.
Everyday it's the same.
It's nothin new...
I already knew wad to expect...
Cuz there's not gonna be anythin else.
I'm tired...
I dun wan dis anymore.
Cuz I've lost faith.
I've tried too long..
Given u too much time.
Again and again u broke ur promises.
U're not the same man..
No longer can be.
I find it too hard to love u...
Not now..
Not wif dat kinda attitude.




Why did it took me so long to see dat u're treatin me wrong?
Treatin me for granted.
For the sake of havin me?
Dun say I love u if u dun mean it.
Wad's the whole point?
Sometimes I wished u would keep ur mouth shut.
I hate ur childish attitude.
U're not willin to grow up.
Makin like everyone owes u somethin.
U cant even gain my mom's trust.
U're makin things worse by disrespectin her.
Makin everythin hard for me.
She's my mom...
Not someone I can change...
U must understand dat.
Why is dat so hard to understand?
She may not be treatin me the right way..
But I still love her.
She's my flesh and blood.
She's the one who bore me for 9 months.
The one I can never say no to.
No matter how bad things may seem,
She's still my mom.
I'm born to love her..
How would it feel if I treated ur parents dat way?
U wouldn't like it too.
So stop bein so selfish.
It's time to let go.
I cant keep doin dis.
Cuz u're the major pain in my life.
Dun be so naive to think dat I'll give my parents up for u.
No matter how bad things may seem...
I'm still wif them.
Like u side ur parents too.
Dun get me wrong..
I love ur mom to bits.
And I feel bad havin to do dis to her.
But I realize dat it's u I'm wif..
Not ur mom.
If u cant give me the emotional support..
And everytime I feel so insecure,
Wad's the whole point of bein together?!
I've done more than I shud de.
There's nothin else left for me to do.




If u love me,
Let me go.
U know I deserved better.
I've put up wif all ur antics..
When u chase me back after I went to find u in Prai.
Because ur collegue was more important.
I put up wif all their shyts too.
Somethin I really dun deserve.
They haf no rights to say anythin bout me.
Wif u standin on their side only made things worse for me.
It's time to wake up and smell the coffee.
If u wanted to prove,
U would haf long ago.
Not until I was badly bruised and hurt.
Let me go before u take my life.
Cuz I really came to a point of dyin better than to be treated dis way.




I dun need those empty promises.
No need to fulfill them now when I've given up.
There's no point.
It won't be good enuf for me.
I never wanted anythin else..
But u made everythin so hard for me.
I'm better off alone....