Weird

These few days was quite weird.
I kept havin dreams bout my ex-s,
Flings.
Play backs?
But all delivered the same message.
Hmmm~
I wonder wad's up.

-I'm back-

First it was Jacob.
Dreamt dat he came back. He and his gang was out drinkin and I happened to be there too.
First it was like stare stare, awkward moments because of the blog.
He ain't happy because of it.. *Yea yea.. But I wrote it*
But when he heard bout the news, He just said "Are u gonna be happy?" 
That message got me thinkin until the dream ended.

-Affection seekers-

Dreamt dat Yuen Ping and Kei both flew back to attend my party. Yuen Ping came wif 2 more of his frens. Frens from work, while Kei came alone. *Which was weird. Kei never really go anywhere without Suey Lin* Sittin around chattin and drinkin.. After I introduced both of the ex-s, I know why Kei was alone. He wants back in the game. Badly.. I remembered Yuen Ping said something like "He's not worth it. He comes crawling back when everythin sucked for him." *But in reality, Yuen Ping came crawling back when he knew dat he made the wrong move* He kinda dissed Kei in front of everyone.. "Let's go for a walk wif my frens." 4 of us went for a walk.. Yuen Ping told me dat he's workin in UK now.. Shipping. *Reality he's in Aussie.Weird* Talk talk.. All I remembered his couple frens are cute couples.. And the message came up "Are u gonna be happy?"




Freakin same message in 2 dreams?
Wad's goin on?
Am I not happy??
It dun feel dat way...
I'm just a lil teeny bitsy worried dat's all.
It's suppose to be dat way isn't it?
WEIRD! Just plain weird!
 

Of cuz I'm scared

Well...
Of cuz I'm freaked out.
Who in the right won't be?
I'm makin a huge decision.
A big leap.


But wad is done is done de.
I've lived wif so many regrets.
Things dat I din do and shud haf..
I've decided to go live without regrets.
I just wanna make the best decision I could.
Cuz when I make dis decision,
There's no turnin back.
No magical eraser to delete the mistakes.
Accept it or decline.
Of cuz I wished I had more options to consider.
But it's only a "yes" or a "no" now..


Of cuz I'm no longer in my teens.
It's the right timing to make such decisions.
Time to look forward and make life changing decisions.
No more partayin so hard,
More relaxations.
No more stressin myself out,
More enjoyin the moments.
Of cuz I do know there'll be hard times as well.
But I know I can get thru it like I always did.
Thank God for the frens who stayed on and on wif me on the never endin roller coaster ride.
Love u guys to bits.
Well,
Dis time around..
I'm hopin for more ferris wheel rides.
Dun think my heart can take much of the roller coaster rides de. =p




Up till now,
I haven't made any decisions yet.
I shud be worryin more... =(
But I'm not.
Too bad.
I know everythin is carefully planned out accordin to His timing.
If my time comes thru His timing.
I'll gladly say "yes"
I dun see why not.
I know He won't me thru bad times I can take.
I'm stayin positive in dis.
Stayin in my happie bubble.
Who am I to say "No" to His will?
Rock wif the flow. =)
Sounds crazy..
But I'm not the only one who believes dat it's dat way.
I'm sure He chose the best for me.




*Haf a lil faith*

How possible?

如果每一段爱情，
可以甜甜蜜蜜的话。。
那有多好？
但这个可能太少了吧。
我不是不高兴。。。
只是有点怀念过去。
想在听到他叫我宝贝。

后悔那三年，
我没好好的珍惜他对我的真心。
那单纯的心，
是一个很难找到的东西。
但不后悔曾经告诉他
“我却有喜欢过你”
真的好怀念。。。
他睡觉的脸，
是那么的可爱。
那么的平津。
被爱是一种很幸福的感觉。


最后一次唱歌给他听时，
都一直流眼泪。
真的很心疼。
但选择放弃，
是对的。
没后悔。。
至少我们拥有了这些回忆。


 

Autumn Leaves

Wad do u do when some stuffs gets too hard to ignore?
When the feelings aren't the same anymore?
When it's no longer the person u used to know?
It felt like there's some missing puzzles I couldn't find.
Wad triggered dis?
Wad wasn't I told of?
Have I done anythin wrong?
Cuz I dun remember doin anythin wrong at all.
I've been tryin to be happy..
Tryin not to bother her so much as she's been busy.
But there's somethin missing!
Somethin I cant put my finger on.
Wad is it dat I'm missin?




I get it dat she wants to spend her holiday there.
If I were her,
I would haf done the same.
I get all dat.
But why the sudden mia?
She was never like dis before..
I get it dat she's busy..
But to the extend of total silence?
Somethin's gotta be wrong somewhere..
But where?


Did she really think dat someone else could just take her place?
They maybe my best friend too.
But it's not everyone is the same.
Dis feelin is too hard to explain.
Words cant be put rite.
It hurts too much inside.
I've been tryin to shut up.
Been tryin to be fine at my own way..
But nothin's the same anymore.
People change...
I get it..

可爱的傻猪

Somewhere out there,
There's someone lyin awake,
Talkin to me over the phone now.
Thanks for callin me.
Even distances between us..
U made me feel at ease.
Thanks for hearin me out.
Checkin up on me makin sure I am okay.
Sweetie~~
It's already 3:47 am now.
And aren't u supposed to be awake.
Time to go to bed piggie.. =p
Thou things between us has been long gone.
And over..
But over the years,
U kept makin sure I'm okay.
We are just no good as a couple.
But great at bein frens.
And I hope it stays dat way.
I love it better dat way too. =)

Who ever said bein best fren with the opposite sex is impossible..
Is dead wrong!
We're are the livin proof of it.
It's good to hear ur voice again.
Thanks for tellin me dat he's not worth it.
I've done everythin I could at dis point.
There's nothin to regret.
Thanks for makin me laugh Feng.
He's not worth the heart break..
Yea yea...
One day i'll look back and giggle at the silly things I do for him. =p
*Silly girl*
就是这个傻猪
每次傻傻的笑，
所以那么多年了你还是叫我傻猪 =)
你几时还要下来找我呢？
好了 啦。。
你去睡了啦。
都那么晚了，
还要陪我聊吗？
搞不好明天又迟到！
我们的都讲了一个小时的电话了。。
明天你看到这个blog时，
希望你还是在傻笑 ^^




晚安了咯
傻傻的猪头 =p

Hot cocoa and soul

Dun pop my bubble when I'm in a good mood.
5 am...
Most of the world is still asleep.
And I'm here enjoyin my cocoa and soul music.
Time to give myself some space.
Time to enjoy my own company.
Tho these few days has been really flyin low..
But once u get the hang of things,
It ain't so bad.


KL trip has been totally wasted.
Cuz Feng wasn't in the mood to accompany me.
Hoe Hoe and Ady both missin in action.
Busy with their own lives.
Next trip..
Hoe Hoe~
Sweetie.. U owe me a whole lot of partay.. =p
Wad is done is done.
No point cryin over spilled milk.
At least dis time around,
I did made it to KL.
After 5 years *Lmao*


Teddy~
Hmmmm~~~
He's in his mood swings again.
Cold war...
Dat's just him.
I'm used to all dat.
He'll come around soon.
Teddy..
I'm just worried bout u.
I just wanted to see how u were doin la sayang.
Nothin to get agitated about.
U're still superstar Teddy to me no matter wad happens
Huggies~~


Finally told Jacob how I felt.
Apology accepted or not..
I'm not sure.
He always write a phrase...
It's hard to tell how he feels.
But at least I got the message across dis time.
No regrets cuz I ade did all I could.


Apart from all dat has happened for the week long..
I miss Nana alot.
It still kills when I hear "When you're gone"
Guess dat will stay.
Wished Nana was still around.
Miss all those times spent wif her.
I haf the world's coolest Nana ever.
If Nana's still around...
We'll probably still be smokin whenever Mom goes WW3 on me.
Nana has left me wonderful memories.
Wished she's still here.
Regretted for not takin more pictures of her tho.
But memories made are never meant to be forgotten.
Those white hair,
The wrinkles on the hands.
The heart warming smiles,
And comfortin hugs.
I'll see u when I get there.
Till we meet again Nana Saw.


All the love heaven could ever hold

We're human afterall

How weird...
U aren't happy bout the blog at all.
People change thru time and time again.
I dun expect u to be the same.
Accept it or not...
Dat's the bloggie I've written for u.
Dat's the way I felt at dat time.
And I shall stop writtin until u wanna read summore.
Till then,
I'm back to my life.
I may not be the gorgeous gal who attracts attention everywhere I go.
But in my own way,
I haf some qualities other gal may not haf.
I enjoy bein myself.
I enjoy bein sentimental.
Bein the emo crazy me...
Other gals haf their own qualities too.
Everyone's brought up in a different way.
The things I went thru is wad made me today.
And for all dat I'll be grateful.
I dun think everyone will haf the chance to go thru wad I went thru.
For every memories made on the way,
As I grow up..
Those are the ones I'll cherish in my heart.

Thinkin of u

I guess wad has been done is done..
When I think back
I find it quite funny.
When the person wants u,
U wouldn't want him.
Until he gives u up.
But I guess dat's the way it goes huh.
Wad comes around goes around.

But still I wont give u up.
Cuz u've given me sweet memories.
Memories I dun wanna let go.
Memories dat mattered to me.
Guess time will tell.
If we're meant to be,
Then our paths will cross each others one day.
Till then,
I shall think of u often.
Miss u frequent.. 


 

Different postal code

In KL finally.
The jinx is over I guess...
*Happie happie*

Hmmmm~ I'm totally havin a great time wif someone who loves me.
But I still cant help wished it was Jacob Lim.
Haiz~~ Wad am I supposed to do wif dis lost feeling?
I wished I had an answer.
I wished it wasn't dis hard.
Seems I'm not ready or willing to get dis over wif.
Not willing to let go till I finally see him.
*Keepin my fingers crossed*


John is another prob.
Wad do u do when U can no longer find the reasons to love a person?
Does time really matters?
Dat everythin will work out fine..
cuz it no longer works dat way de.
I feel no pain but relieved.
Not a very good sign de rite?
I'm willing to move on wif my life and put all of dis behind me.
Cuz he's not worth cryin over.
Wad he did dat day was totally unacceptable to me.
I can never marry a guy who cant respect my stuffs.
Those are the memories dat I treasure alot.
I guess wad really triggered the whole argument was him tearing Jacob's pix.
Dat pix meant alot to me.
John...
No way back into my life.
Cuz it aint gonna work no more.
I guess dis is wad happens when the relationship hits rock bottom.
It aint gonna work out because he's turning violent.
I ain't gonna be some stupid blond to wait till he hits me only leave.
I know well dat I deserved so much better than dat.
Take it or leave it..
Dis time I'm not gonna tink twice,
I'm gonna leave it.
Time doesn't prove how deep ur relationship is.
Dat's one thing I know and believed in.
Once upon a time,
He seemed to be the right one.
Not now..
Not anymore.