First day without u next to me...

It's the first day without u next to me...
In such a long time...
We've spent the past 18 days together...
Every single moment together.
And now I hafto go thru without u bein by my side again.
And every single time dat happen..
It gets harder..
At the same time,
I love u and hate u for it.
U've made me independent for bein away all the time...
That's the good outcome...
But the bad outcome of it..
I'm gettin too used to it of u not bein at my side.
I dun think dat's a good one.
I tot we're not suppose to survive when we dun haf each other?
Today when I was out wif Jinsen...
I figured out somethin has changed.
But I just couldn't pin point wad it is.
Is it the way he hugged me goodbye?
Is it the way he asked me how are we turnin out?
I really cant put a finger on it...
It kept me wonderin...
How much longer do we hafto be apart so often?
Are we gettin better at bein away from each other?
Are we too comfortable wif dat?

I wanna marry someone whom I cant live without...
Not someone I can live without..
I wanna marry someone who feels the same way towards me..
Are we too comfortable in our relationship?
Dat the excitement has passed?
Dat ur heart or mine no longer thump dat hard when we see each other?
To make someone feel dat they're pursued every single wake of the sunrise,
Isn't easy as said.
It's somethin to accomplish..
I want dat kinda love..
I want a never aging love.
But it feels like we're an old married couple nowadays..
We no longer do anythin spontaneously anymore..
And it's kinda boring, dun u agree?
I feel it's time to rekindle the moments we've spent together.
Do we really say I love u from the bottoms of our hearts?
It's not bout the pda we show..
None of dat matters..
Only one thing matters...
Do u love me?

It's just a simple question..
But it's hard to find the right answer to it.
Do u love me enuf to spend the rest of ur life wif me?
Enuf to die for me?
Enuf to make me feel better everytime I see u?
I haf doubts...
And I'm sure u haf ur own too..
Do u love me enuf wantin to see me next to u every single morning?
I'm curious to know the real answer...
Will u tell me the truth?
I keep tellin people..
Time will prove and tell everythin.
I do wanna get married.
But at the moment I'm not sure if u're the guy I wanna spend the rest of my life wif.
Dat u hafto convince me..
Prove it to me..
Like I said,
U haf till June.
I really hope dat u'll keep the promise u make me.
I want us to work out..
After all we've waited for 11 years to be together.
Dat itself meant somethin to me.
Do not disappoint me..
Cuz I dun think both of us can face dat kinda consequences..
I love u to bits...
But only love isn't enuf..