I hate it!!!!

I really dunno how much longer we hafto do dis...
We've been together for a year...
It's only the beginning of the year,
And we've spent so much time apart.
Are u gettin used to it?
I really wonder...
Again......
I'm tryin to get thru another day without u.
It's not as easy as it seems to be.

I hate u for doin dis so often!
I hate u for takin me for granted!
I hate u for bein there for them more than me...
I hate it when u're away...
I hate dat u're not holdin to the promises u've made me months ago.

Are they promises u meant to break?
Promises u never sincerely mean it?
How important am I to u?
Just another story in ur life?
Another chapter?
Or is it the endin chapter?
The last chapter in the book?
I'm really curious at times..

I love u just isn't enuf for me.
They're not the only things u justify ur feelings...
U always leave me at the cross roads.
U're never there to walk wif me..
I envy those who has their other half who's always wif them.
I'm not one of those blessed ones...

Are u really givin ur best in dis relationship?
I really doubt dat at times..
Are u givin ur 100% or just a part of it?
Thou I love u to bits...
I dun wanna marry u if u're not ready to make a full commitment.
I need ur 100%...
Not just a part of it.
I dun wanna be married to a guy who's always not around.
Someone who's never here for me when I needed him the most.
I need u to be here,
More than u ever realized.
I'm not as strong like u think I am.
Words unspoken...
I need u to read me more than I could tell..
I ade came to a point..
Dat I'm no longer able to deal wif all dis..
It hurts..
More than u'll ever know..
Beyond words I can find to explain.
At times I really wonder..
Are we together cuz we love each other?
Or is it merely cuz it's an old habit?
Can u give me a sincere answer?
Without even giving it second thoughts?